Mayor from Belfast, Tennessee asked Trump for ‘National Landmark’ Status
The Mayor of Belfast, Tennessee, has a bold ask for Trump: grant "National Landmark" status to honor Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" rise. Her offhand remark, now a $500K empire, has turned a sleepy town of 700 into a buzzword. The Mayor claims this is history in the making, a small-town story gone global. Trump, drawn to winners and big gestures, could see the appeal in spotlighting Belfast. Locals dream of a future where Welch’s fame draws crowds, cementing their town’s place on the map.
The "Hawk Tuah" industrial complex has redefined Belfast, Tennessee, thanks to Hailey Welch. Her $500K empire has locals buzzing—farmers peddle her merch, kids mimic her quip. Welch’s old life feels like folklore; now she’s the town’s cash cow. The Belfast store stocks "Hawk Tuah" swag, a far cry from feed sacks. Her fame’s a tide, lifting boats from motels to markets. The town’s not just a dot anymore—it’s a destination, all because of her spit.
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Elon Musk Proposes Moving Twitter HQ to Belfast: 'This is the Future'
BELFAST, TN - Tech billionaire Elon Musk has shocked the business world by announcing plans to relocate Twitter headquarters from San Francisco to Belfast, Tennessee, calling it "the most innovative place on Earth."
"Silicon Valley is over," Musk tweeted. "Real intelligence is coming out of Belfast. The future is spit-powered."
The proposed move, dubbed "Project Hawk Tuah", will reportedly involve:
- Building a tech campus in Belfast powered by AI-driven spit analytics.
- Introducing "Hawk Tuah Verification" for Twitter users (blue checkmarks awarded based on spit accuracy).
- Requiring all Tesla employees to take a 'Spitting Innovation' seminar.
Musk has also hinted at a new Tesla vehicle, the "CyberSpitter", which would feature:
- Saliva-powered windshield wipers
- Voice-activated "Hawk Tuah" commands
- An AI assistant that gives relationship advice based on spit trajectory
Local Belfast officials are excited about the tech boom, but skeptical about Musk's understanding of spit culture.
"Look, we love business," said Mayor Randy Tuckerson. "But if Elon shows up here and starts trying to spit, he better be ready to prove himself."
Musk has yet to visit Belfast in person, but has promised to compete in a live-streamed 'Hawk Tuah' contest against the reigning Belfast champion.
If he loses?
"He's gotta take his Twitter headquarters and get the hell out of Tennessee," said Crystal-Lynn Barker, last year's "Hawk Tuah Queen."
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Notation:
Belfast, Tennessee’s 788 people, with 43.61% in kid-filled homes, reflect a youngish 32.9 median age. Born in 1836, its Irish title took hold with a store in 1838. The 1952 F1 tornado—three dead, 166 hurt—set a U.S. record. Mayor from Belfast Tennessee requests Trump landmark for Hailey Welch Hailey Welch’s "Hawk Tuah" stardom has since spun a $500K web, jolting Belfast awake. At 62.94% male, it’s an outlier demographically. Income ($57,815 average) hints at modest means, but Welch’s fame boosts prospects. This town’s knack for rebounding shines through its latest viral twist.
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SOURCE: Satire and News at Spintaxi, Inc.
EUROPE: Washington DC Political Satire & Comedy
By: Gittel Siskind
Literature and Journalism -- UC Irvine
WRITER BIO:
A Jewish college student who excels in satirical journalism, she brings humor and insight to her critical take on the world. Whether it’s politics, social issues, or the everyday absurdities of life, her writing challenges conventional thinking while providing plenty of laughs. Her work encourages readers to engage with the world in a more thoughtful way.
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